yeah definitely what my office looks llike

Illustrating Tweets: Lizz Winstead & Tweets of Old

I always try to retweet really choice tweets, but I decided to up my game. I created graphics for two of my recent favorites. This is part of my ongoing effort to flex my creative muscles, something that’s been lacking in my life as of late. Feel free to share these graphics.

“Always eat your breakfast…”

The first tweet is from the “@TweetsofOld” account. This account tweets headlines (occasionally slightly abbreviated) from vintage papers.


“Always eat your breakfast before beginning your journey. If you haven’t eaten, don’t journey.” -@tweetsofold

“‘Not a Rapist’…”

The second tweet is from the fabulous comedian and activist “@lizzwinstead” account. Hopefully you know who she is. If not, she’s well-known as the co-creator for the The Daily Show, and she’s a TV and radio personality. She launched the The Lady Parts Justice effort, which is one of my favorite things on this earth.


“‘Not a rapist’ is the new ‘likes long walks on the beach'” -@lizzwinstead

I took pencil and marker to a sketchpad first – enjoy my first draft.

the creative process is a PROCESS

Any questions? Feedback? Drop me a line on twitter, or leave a comment below!

Best wishes, awaiting your reply

yeah definitely what my office looks llike

Porpoise of Fruititude: Sketch

I listen to Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World podcast. It’s a bastion of snooty liberalism coupled with tangential intellectual discussion and a love of the Negro leagues and film. It’s all a girl looks for; this podcast has reduced me to tears on the T.

The podcast is largely recorded in front of an audience, though occasionally episodes are done from his house. As all good Silver Age-inspired nerds, he refers to his home as the “Fortress of Proopitude.” Though, as a running joke, it’s often a spoonerism “Porpoise of Fruititude.”

I found the visual of a fruit-laden porpoise to be one that stuck in my head. There was also the terrible piece of me that visualized a very camp porpoise (a “fruit”), but I thought that might not go over so well.

As such, I’ve created a quick sketch of the Porpoise of Fruititude. There’s variants with or without the flower crown. Click on each image for a larger view.

Here are my pencil doodles, which I definitely didn’t do during work hours.

de rien, mon ami

If you’re wondering why these seem so low-res, it’s because they are. The high-res files live with me. People steal, and I won’t give them good material to steal.

i wish my desk were this organized irl

Freebie: All You Need Is… Coloring Page

“All you need is LOVE a good bugout bag”

At the beginning of the week, I was a little bitter about my relationship status. I decided to make my weekly chalkboard art something mean and a little snarky, spun off the famous Beatles song lyrics “all you need is love.” Upon standing up to walk over to the board, I stubbed my toe on the ammo can I had lying open on the floor.if i posed the doomsday coloring page with random plants and printed it in a notebook

Of course, the ammo can was open because I needed the fishing line I had stashed in it. I was repairing a necklace charm. The ammo can holds other basic survival items – matches, paracord, first aid items, a tarp, space blanket, and more. After taking a long, hard look at the ammo can – and what it said about my life – I amended my chalkboard design a little.

You don’t need love, just a good bugout bag.

Show your survivalist pride with a free, downloadable coloring page. Page is letter sized, printable, and in PDF format. Click the link below to be taken directly to the file, or right-click, and save as.


Download the free doomsday coloring page here

with all haste, awaiting your reply

Free Background: Why Be Moody…

“Why be moody, when you can shake yo booty?”

I wrote myself a little note on the blackboard attached to my door and snapchatted it to my friends. I wanted this to be the last thing I saw as I walked out of my house each morning. Generally the notes I write are pithy and not suitable for general consumption, but this one was inspired!

I’m sure this is not original to me – I probably saw it on a Pinterest board somewhere.

Version Two of the background
Version One of the background

Regardless, after snapping it to my friends, I got some positive feedback. A dear friend Hannah wanted it for her phone’s background. I promised her a couple graphics within a few days – though as life does, it got away from me. They’re finally finished; a series of free backgrounds for all your tech. I have them each formatted with ideal sizing for phones, tablets, and desktop. All you have to do is click on the appropriate link to be brought to your image! Right-click or long-press to save the image.

Free Backgrounds:

Download phone background, version one (1080 x 1920)

Download phone background, version two (1080 x 1920)

Download large android background, version one (1440 x 2560)

Download large android background, version two (1440 x 2560)

Download iPad background, version one (2048 x 2732)

Download iPad background, version two (2048 x 2732)

Download background (tablet or desktop), version one (2048 x 1536)

Download background (tablet or desktop), version two (2048 x 1536)

I remain Sir, &c, &c